That gentleman approached me a chair as she told me what she felt abandoned by the then government. He had several years of life and sacrifice to his work as patrolman and there, under the mountain sun Huanta told me the common plight of men like once he was summoned to the civil struggle against Sendero.
was lunchtime and he had insisted on inviting us to eat. While continuing his narrative a sweet face smiling tanned cheeks approached with a plate of beans, cheese and toasted toast. I was fourteen, but looked eleven. Her name was Lucinda.
is beautiful "I said to my host-
-cooking know-he said immediately
The conversation continued about the man's inability to breed as would all his children. Lucinda told me sadly and three other women were his daughters and would not work well on the farm as their only child.
"Unfortunately I had and miss, but little women than men and it serves my house my wife and the eldest, so I better take her young lady, just give him school. She loves cooking, cleaning know also, here and not long ago, I have and keep.
Logically, the proposal gave me goose bumps, as well as the hypothesis of Journal Trade on teenage pregnancy to become beneficiaries of the program together (*). The similarity is scary, but true: in some places in Peru, a child is an investment. I used to work on the farm and if you get a man, much better, you will pay double. In this logic a daughter is like an action with less value or less return on investment, but Dad government program, regardless of sex, a hundred suns monthly insured.
son The investment concept is also evident in some families living in the capital. Thousands of times I have had to be compared to mothers who had just of losing their children in different circumstances. When they agree to give their testimonies and I try to reflect the maternal pain by the death of a supposedly adored with all my heart (note: I hate the handling, do not force feelings), they seem to mourn over while repeating that he or she was who the financially supported .. "And now who is going to see my" ... add to this variant: "... I'm old" or "I am father and mother to my children" so common in such cases.
A little disturbed by such phrases I've tried more than once cross-examination:
"But also to keep, I guess I would have some qualities ...
And I have met frequently with answers like this:
"Sure, I worked from early in the morning Miss, I always brought gifts, but earn little, always cared for the ride something.
rather, good son = son to his parents happy materially.
hate repeating this, but I think I need: The crying was even more intense when the mother remembered that in the absence of that son or daughter she would be unhappy because "no one to see for myself." The pain did not seem to be based on the absence of being itself, but the loss of what this creature could provide. Chilling example of the son-common investment.
I was surprised about the continued inability of some families to express affection. There are few times when I saw the son returning home after being lost and find parents who do not know how to hug. Instead, I see many parents concerned about raising children who care for them when they are elderly.
But these experiences on concept of child-investment does not belong only to my working life. I well remember the words of a college friend whose socio-economic situation would be described as a B plus for some market researchers: "I keep my parents until I keep my children."
I also remember the case of a friend, whose mother faked a nervous breakdown to prevent his daughter, Trient right place, finally leave the family home to independent living experience necessary. My friend gave to manipulation, he could not bear the burden of conscience that would entail leaving his weeping parent, who repeated a and again that singleness of the child necessarily imply fundamental duty to care for the mother financially and emotionally. The underlying message sounded something like this:
"I had you in my womb for nine months, I grew up, now give me back my investment, stay with me until you leave well married to repeat my fate. Some day your daughters will do the same. "
All these examples help me be a better parent, to emphasize my conviction that my daughter will give him all the best I can while God gives me strength and that it will train them to use their own wings to fly out of the nest and make a truly happy life without feeling pressured to help me or worry about my future, but one hundred per cent focused on yours. My daughter is not my investment is a wonderful creature who learns to be independent very soon.
(*) Program of the Peruvian government to assist with 100 soles a month ( 30 dollars) to families or single mothers living evidencing in extreme poverty.
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